Yesterday, a Facebook acquaintance (that sounds hilarious) of mine blogged about a particularly shitty experience. In short, she was purchasing a new pair of gym shoes when some miserable bitch decided to speak her mind and spit some variation of "you're too fat to be in a gym, why are you buying running shoes?"
Disgusting and problematic, right? Right.
The thread that followed proved to be equally problematic, as women began to come out of the woodwork in support of her - *not* just in agreement that the worthless woman in Footlocker should be slapped, but in support of being fat. To be completely honest right out of the gate: This frightened me. It still frightens me. Even when I was obese, the entire "body acceptance" movement eluded me. I never thought that feeling slow, sluggish, and less than able was something desirable or acceptable. I never thought that being at-risk for so many diseases was ok - and I definitely never felt like any of this was worthy of being considered "beautiful."
But it didn't end there. Not only were these women (the author included) claiming that it is "ok" to "love your fat body," but the primary reason cited for "body acceptance" was "genetic obesity." Half way between a laugh and a furrowed brow, I stared at the screen of my iPhone wondering how I would ever reply to this without sounding like a complete asshole. I could see inside the minds of these women - I knew where they were coming from because I had been there. I had been in the typical position that leads one to believe their body type is genetic: try to lose weight, fail, feel like shit, accept being fat in order to retain sanity. It's a survival tactic, and it is entirely understandable. This does not make it right.
What I attempted to convey - and only now do I remember that Facebook is not and has never been the venue for debate of any sort - is that this "genetic predisposition" is not to "storing fat," but to sedentary lifestyles. Many people point to their family members' similar struggles with weight and claim they inherited the extra inches. And of course, people choose to cite research tailored to further their own agenda (this goes for almost anyone) - but on the topic of genetic obesity, a large majority of the research (if you read the entire article/study) indicates that the "obesity gene" is not, in fact, a "gene" at all. Instead, so-called "genetic obesity" is merely the inheritance of a lifestyle. A lifestyle predominantly held by Americans. Furthermore, most of the recent research on "genetic obesity" and the "obesity gene" has a very alarming, very telling discovery: The key to "combating" the obesity gene is ... exercise. Anti-climactic, right? Very. Yes, you read it right - movement. Ladies and gentlemen, you can battle "genetic obesity" by burning fat. Who would've thought?!
One of the biggest issues I have with the argument for genetics is that it seems to plague only Americans. As we know, the United States is a melting pot of culture - incredibly diverse - a genetic goulash! So, why is it that across all of these genetic makeups, it is within THIS CULTURE that the highest percentage of people suffer from hypertension, diabetes, joint and muscle pain, high cholesterol, etc? And more importantly, why would anyone want to live like this? Even if you're in a state of ignorant bliss, don't tell me that you can ignore how difficult it is to perform an act as simple as picking something up from the ground.
When it comes down to it, obesity is not a gene, it's a lifestyle - it's cultural. We have an epidemic in the United States and we cannot be rid of it with medicine. Believe it or not, this is great news. The cure for obesity is relatively cost-free, but unfortunately most Americans are so indoctrinated into being "busy" and "on-the-go," they fail to stop for a moment, breathe, listen, and take care of themselves and their families.
Keep in mind that health is not about perfection. It's not about being a size 2, and it's not about having perfect abs. This is not about running down the beach giggling only in all the "right" places. This is not about running marathons or being "vegan." Ladies, let me assure you that I know plenty of beautiful, healthy, active women who are curved and rock a size 12 like you wouldn't believe. But the difference is, the majority of their weight is from muscle, not fat. They can lunge, and squat, and spin, and press weights. They don't "diet," but instead they have a lifestyle that doesn't include consuming double their recommended calories or an excess of processed foods. But the most important thing about these women (myself included) is that they are not concerned with what society thinks about what size jeans they wear. You cannot begin a healthy journey until you are above the influence. Attempting to rally against ridiculous body images will make you nothing but bitter - and that bitterness will find you in a state of rebellion, eating whatever you want in whatever quantity because you believe it's somehow a statement about "loving yourself."
You're hurting yourself. You're killing yourself. You're lowering yourself to the same behaviors that you claim to hate and there are people around you who know how to successfully abandon this attitude in favor of a healthier one. A healthier mind is the natural beginning to a healthier body.
That said, are there some people who can eat whatever they want and never gain a pound? Yes. Are they going to avoid high cholesterol and arteries full of sludge? Probably not. But I don't think anyone would argue that some people have to bring a bit more attention to their physical activity and intake in order to remain at a healthy weight - but what I fail to understand is how this makes it ok to be fat? What I fail to understand even MORE is when/how people decided that it's IMPOSSIBLE to lose the weight and keep it off?
One of the women in the thread claimed that no degree of healthy eating, exercise, sleep and stress management could take weight off of her body. Another woman claimed that there is no way to lose a large amount of weight in a slow, healthy way and keep it off. A very short, open letter to the both of them: You're wrong, and I feel for you. My 60 lb weight loss came across 3 years! That averages out to .05 lbs a day! For those good at math, you know that's .35 lbs a week - well under the recommended "healthy" weight loss (which is .5 - 1 lb a week). My nutrition was never perfect from the start - but I dedicated myself to learning about intake, healthy alternatives, discipline, intuitive eating. I challenged myself and I'm rewarded daily for that challenge. There is nothing unhealthy or impossible about my story - so why should you condemn yourself to believing that you can't achieve the same?
I once thought I was "big boned," "a brick house," "genetically obese." Many of my family members are overweight, diabetic, and unhealthy. I once thought "this is just who I am." I couldn't have been more wrong. I feel sorry for people who cannot just admit that they want to be fat - that they want to carry excess weight around and allow it to surround and impact their vital organs - to raise everything from their blood pressure to their health insurance costs.
I maintain that these women have not been part of a sustained, disciplined, and diverse physical routine.
I maintain that these women do not educate themselves about proper nutrition - that they likely believe that eating well means going on a "diet."
I maintain that these women think they're genetically obese because they have obese family members.
I ask that you stop blaming it on genetics and take responsibility for your actions. I ask that you realize the beauty, power, and potential that you have. Exercise (literally!) that potential and stop existing and start living.
9 comments:
I stumbled across your blog while looking for something else and read this post which has left me scratching my head. The main reason you seem to have come to the conclusion that fat acceptance or body acceptance is wrong is because we shouldn't give up on being healthy (aka thin).
What I find problematic about this conclusion is that you are ignoring all of the statistics that show 95% of weight loss attempts fail and of those that don't the weight is normally gained back with 5 years. Also you seem to believe that all people who believe in FA want to be fat. To be discriminated against on a daily basis for some people should make this seem like a crazy thought. Learning to love yourself is not about giving up but taking control over your own body, which include taking care of your body without outside influences.
I suggest you look more into the FA movement especially into the health initiative Health at Every Size and learn about taking focus off weight loss and placing it on wellness. This is something that the majority of people in the movement participate in and is widely accepted as a tool for long term health.
Thanks for the read and the comment, FW. I will refer you again to the entry (as perhaps you missed the part where I reference statistics).
Also - to suggest that I mean healthy = thin is unfair - I never say that once. What I DO say is that it is not possible to be healthy and to carry the excess weight that "FA" people quite often do. Thin is subjective - I don't promote thin, I promote healthy. The truth is, obesity is unhealthy. Obesity will never be healthy.
I simply do not believe that accepting obesity is ok. I also urge you to stop leaning on statistics and take control of your life in the way that you suggest people do (as opposed to wanting to be healthy? How does that work?) The more you tell people how unsuccessful others are, the less they're going to care to change their habits and live well.
Instead, people should listen to stories of so many people out there who have overcome obesity in a healthy, positive, long-term way.
Again, the fact remains that weight loss (when you are at risk for obesity-related illnesses) is the biggest part of wellness because it involves fitness, nutrition and stress management - all of which ARE wellness.
Best of luck to you.
So wait, you want me to ignore my statistics that I "lean on" but look at your statistics that you quote on your post? So can I look at your statistics when I am ignoring statistics to take control of my life? BTW where are these statistics that you posted?
The only thing I see was how you said that the FTO gene isn't a gene and doesn't cause obesity. Which if you want to not look at that, please look into the studies of twins that lived together and apart showing that weight is far more genetic that environmental. Even in different environments the twins had the same body weight.
I have more comments, first something I didn't mention, no one in the FA movement supports being fat (and I didn't even have to bold it to make it shocking) we believe in living in the body you were predisposition to be in and not fucking with your natural weight, even if it is fat.
Second, living a healthy lifestyle is not "relatively cost-free" unless you want people to stop eating. People need to remember that eating healthy is not only expensive but a privilege not something that all people are privy to. Should everyone have access to healthy affordable food? Yes, but is it realistic? No, eating healthy and find a safe place to exercise is easier said than done. Aside from that finding time to exercise and cook wholesome meals are not always an option depending upon the life you live. Having children, a job that is more than 40 hours a week, maybe 2 jobs, or school is a reality many people face and this isn't something that can be brushed off as an excuse. Someone's socioeconomic status is a huge factor in their ability to live what you deem a "relatively cost-free" lifestyle.
You have said that "the biggest part of wellness because it involves fitness, nutrition and stress management - all of which ARE wellness." Perhaps you ignored when I mentioned the health movement health at every size, which is written about in a book by Linda Bacon (she holds graduate degrees in psychology, specializing in eating disorders and body image, and kinesiology) called "Health at Every Size."
This movement talks about embracing the same things you mentioned which is fitness, nutrition and stress management (seriously what is more stressful than worrying about your weight and obsessing over your body?) Also it teaches the belief that we need to practice not giving power to food (labeling food as "good" or "bad"), by using intuitive eating (eating when your hungry stopping when your full), eating things that make your body feel good (Like fresh fruits and veggies), and exercising for health but to feel good as well. This approach appears to coincide with what you are trying to put across but without the shame placed upon any body that tells them that thin equals health. While on that subject you may not have said that thin equals health, but you did say that fat equals unhealth, which if you say that you are in fact saying that thinness is the only place where health can be achieved.
The so-called "obesity" related illnesses you speak of are far more related to lifestyle choices that fat individuals have been stereotyped as doing. Eating unhealthy or living a sedentary lifestyle are issues that can affect health but that does not mean all fat people participate in those behaviors and to believe that they all do is very discriminatory.
Not only has Linda Bacon written her book she also did research on this very issue with looking at lifestyle versus weight loss and found it was lifestyle that affected health the most. Also if you need more statistics (that I lean on) you should look at "Big Fat Lies" which also has other bits of research on the topic of weight and health.
(cont.)
Your experiences while fat seem to have been bad ones and trust me I understand. As a fat individual I remember the days when I truthfully hated myself for what I was and would have done (and did do) anything to change my body. Since becoming a fat rights activist to end discrimination towards fat individuals and end fat phobia I have never felt that being "slow, sluggish, and less than able was something desirable or acceptable." (Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I will say it seems as though your eye might be warped in mainstreams societies whacked up body/beauty ideals.)
What I found was that this is not an issue of health but of perceived beliefs about fatness and how our relationships with our bodies / food / health coincide. If we stop believing the fat phobia that our society dictates to us what will we have left? If we don't believe that fat equals unhealthy (times a million) what is left? If we reject not only societies idea of beauty ideals but of what is considered a socially acceptable body, we can start looking at the actual issues which is that we are taught to hate fatness from an early age and crave thinness. Every person has the right to their own personal autonomy and the right to what they do with their body or health, without the moral or health beliefs of others being shoved down their throats.
Possibly the belief that living your life without shame, insults, hatred and bigotry would make you be able to live a health happy life in any body. Including a fat one.
BTW I see your from Michigan, if you're ever on Wayne States campus I'm the fat chick on the blue schwinn, oh and my roommate fat too, and she did a 20 mile bike ride last week. Crazy huh? Those crazy fat girls actually exercising....and picking things up off the ground with ease.
All I have to say to this: You're on the WSU Campus? I teach on the WSU campus - you should come to my office some time or meet up with me for tea and we can chat.
I'm sure we'll have a much better opportunity to share our knowledge and values in that venue.
My office is 10404.2 Maccabees and I'm there from 11am - 1pm on Mondays. You can also reach me Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings at the Mort Harris.
Do consider meeting up, I think you'll feel a little less bitter toward how you perceive me. Also: congratulations to your friend on her 20 mile bike ride - No one ever said that "fat" people can't ride bikes or exercise - again, what I *did* say is that excess fat/weight - on the level of obesity - is dangerous, will cause health problems (maybe not now, but later) and CAN be eliminated.
We can hash out the details and I'd be more than happy to address your comments in person. :)
Oh, also - just a few things:
I do not mention specific research or statistics. I refer you to the point of the post where I mention that anyone and everyone will use certain studies/research to further their own agendas - you and I are not exempt. I can cite several books and studies that support my position - you know this, I'm sure you've come across many in your research/activism. I read through your blog and it seems you devote your life to writing letters to companies that exclude you as a "fat person." I devote my time and energy to educating people who want to be healthy and fit - to people who want to make better choices and learn how to make exercise and good nutrition a priority. And just as it is wrong to demonize fat people, it is equally wrong to demonize those who desire to not be that way - people who want to feel better and look a certain way.
We don't share common goals or outlooks, but I think we can respect one another if we have a chat. I can also give you a lot of insight into what my journey has been like, and how positive it has been. :) Perhaps we can enrich each other's lives and make our experiences in our own endeavors that much better.
I've been following you for a while on Twitter, but just read your blog today. I must say, this post was awesome.
I have never struggled with weight, but my sister did. Growing up we heard it all, including her being big boned.
The reality was a struggle with food choices and exercise. It wasn't until after college that she took the bull by the horns and changed how she ate, starting moving and the result? She lost well over 80 LBS and gained her long term health.
Eating healthy and excerising is a choice. I don't know if it will ever be easy. To me the hardest part will always be mental.
Studies and statistics will always be manipulated to make a point in a discussion. Emotions play a powerful role as well. Throw being rational out the window.
How do we take the discussion away from false support and denial and on to something productive.
I really enjoyed your post. Keep up the good work and congratulations on your healthy success.
Hi 3sixteen,
Thanks for the compliment and thanks for reading! You're right - we are in a constant struggle to move in the direction of productivity rather than denial -it's all about accountability.
Congratulations to your sister - what an amazing accomplishment! Thank you for sharing her story - people *need* to hear about healthy, positive lifestyle changes. :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Being fat myself and feeling the accompanying low self esteem, I always look out for helpful websites. The basic FA idea appealed to me--that we all have value as human beings no matter our weight. I was on board with that. But the denial that goes on with those websites drove me away. When I imagine the amount of effort that must go into convincing oneself that weighing 200+ pounds is not a health problem (for the average woman)I just feel depressed, sad and sorry for them. That's some serious denial.
I've been going to Overeaters Anonymous for a year now. Funny thing--I've come across many people, both in meetings, podcasts and in literature who have lost 60, 80, 100+ pounds--and kept it off for years. To read many of the FA pages, this isn't possible.
What you do with your own body is your business, but encouraging other people in denial is racking up some bad karma.
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